To Be or Not to Be?

What kind of question is that really? Yes, everyone is to be…but be what?

Cute and adorable me.

My Marti and I.

I’m a dad, Sailor, son, friend, amateur photographer, confidante, nephew, chef, cousin, uncle, world-traveler, brother, pain-in-arsh (at times), mentor, PAO and more. Soon, I will add husband back on that list which I’m very excited about.

We all struggle at times with who we are and what we should be doing. I started off in high school not sure what I would become in life. I was told that I’d never go to college yet, here I sit with a master’s degree from the University of Oklahoma (don’t worry, Sooners, there is always next year) writing this blog.

Downtown Plainview, circa 2000

I worked at West’s Pharmacy, in downtown Plainview, thinking I would be a pharmacist…yes, a pharmacist. I joined the Navy as a hospital corpsman after high school and became a pharmacy technician for the next 15 years…both active and reserves. Now the MA is in communication and not pharmacy…I actually got kicked out of pharmacy school at OU…that’s ok, I think I turned out okay.

Being in public relations (the Navy calls it public affairs), I had to learn many things. How to write. How to present a speech without saying “ah” 10-30 times…for the record, that really annoys me when speakers do that. How to brief my boss. How to go with my gut. How not to second-guess my decisions. 

The late Dennis Farina and I chatting it up in Sicily.

Being a PAO is hard work (but fun and rewarding) especially when you are an introvert…yes, I said it…the I-word. I know, crazy isn’t it. People who actually know me (actually, there’s only a few people who really “know” me) think that I’m not in the big I category. But being truthful, I am.

But when I’m working, I can flip a switch on and be funny, serious or whatever I need to be at the time.

I just be.

The best of being me is being a dad to Jessie and Tucker…they usually don’t read this blog so this won’t embarrass them but they really are my crowning achievements in this life. God has blessed me with two of the best young people I know. They love the Lord. They love each other (despite the occasional fighting and finger pointing). They seek to find their own place in the world. Whether it’s theatre for Jessie or computer gaming for Tucker…they just be. I wake up and thank God for them every day (as well as thanking Him for putting Marti in my life).

I am happy and content. Worthy of someone loving me for who I am.  Yes, I make mistakes but I am who I am…and I’m ok with that.

Small cemetery outside of Dublin, Ireland.

But I still struggle on who I should become? Why? I’m not sure…I’m in my 50’s now…I have no idea what God has in store for me the next 50 years. But I do know, I will be happy and just be.

I love being me…who else can be me besides me right?

Here’s some advice…just be still and listen to Him…just be you.